In my first pass, the dialogue in this entire scene was much more exposition-y and just covered the story beats I wanted to hit. The end result was that Gorug (the henchman Bennesaud is talking to) didn’t really shine in any way or come off as having any personality, which kinda defeated the purpose of introducing him in the first place. It was also a bit of a dull scene, with the two just arguing over working for Suul. So I went in and added more jokes and back-and-forth banter. The scene still covers all the same ground but it’s now just a bit more fun to actually read.

There will always be plot points to cover, but one of my main goals with the series is to always make it entertaining.