In my first pass, the dialogue in this entire scene was much more exposition-y and just covered the story beats I wanted to hit. The end result was that Gorug (the henchman Bennesaud is talking to) didn’t really shine in any way or come off as having any personality, which kinda defeated the purpose of introducing him in the first place. It was also a bit of a dull scene, with the two just arguing over working for Suul. So I went in and added more jokes and back-and-forth banter. The scene still covers all the same ground but it’s now just a bit more fun to actually read.
There will always be plot points to cover, but one of my main goals with the series is to always make it entertaining.
Technically, the village burning was a group effort. Gorug burned like 5 or 6 percent of the village himself tops and that’s practically nothing.
Yup, really starting to like Gorug.
Good call adding humor to the conversation.
This was funny to read with good facial and body expressions.
After the laughter though, I realize that was quite a grim situation they’re talking about.
I guess it just proofs that humour is a good way to cope.
You know, I’m fully aware it’d probably me reading into things too much, but back in the previous chapter, when Bennesaud was telling Roka “No, no! Suul used to be a really good, respectable guy before he suddenly started seeing drugs! Honest!!”, the tone of it came off to me like… Someone just TRYING to convince THEMSELVES that an ex friend of theirs was a better person then they ever actually were, when in reality they were probably…always not such a great person, even before the breaking point?
So while also absolutely hilarious on the surface, that look Bennesaud gives at the list of “Good things Suul does joke” also has this weight of- Someone’s dangling the image in front of Bennesaud that this idealized vision of Suul actually exists (Or, if it DID exist at some point, that the “Good Suul” might “Still be in there somewhere”), and then INSTANTLY snatching it back as “LOL! Juuuust kidding~”.
Just- LAYERS. I love it so~