And now we start getting some explanations!
Whenever I can, I try to avoid characters delivering long bits of explanatory exposition since it rarely feels natural. But in this case, I think it works since Goshen would believably be explaining to his captors what he knows about their operation in order to show that he is no fool and is well aware of what they do and why they do it.
I like that while Goshen believes he’s telling Roka’s group things they already know, the actuality is that they don’t already know. So Roka and Ril are learning the true details of the operation at the same time as the readers. I hope it’s clear in the artwork that Ril’s comment is not meant to be snarky towards Goshen. He’s actually legitimately impressed by the creativity of the drug smuggling operation and is commenting to Roka. It’s Goshen who mistakes that for self-congratulatory posturing on Ril’s part.
That totally works for me! As a reader you are at this point bound to hear the explanation as the Runners. 😀
[Just make sure the “extremely combustible” crush isn’t exposed to the fire radiant heat too long/much. Can’t have those main characters burning up, can we? Especially as they are made of paper… just kidding! This time I notice the fireplace glass: good planning!]
The artwork is really incredible at this point, from the frames to the characters to details like the fire place shadows.
When I first read the page I thought that Ril’s comment was directed at Roka and Goshen mistook it as a smartass remark directed at him.
Perhaps a different angle that would allow us to see a pissed off/slightly offended look on Goshen’s face and the back of Ril’s head so the reader can still see who made the comment. Of course that would make for a pretty crammed panel.
Thumbs up for the pacing on this page and I really like all the details you’ve put in the last panel.
Sorry, looks like I speed-read your commentary. Ril was indeed talking to Roka like I thought, so the page works as a whole. No changes necessary.
I might point out that the dialogue bubble for Ril’s comment is a little confusing, since it could be seen as coming from Roka (what I thought) Perhaps having the pointer come out of the other side of the bubble where that space of blackness is would be better suited(?) Just a thought.
That’s not a bad idea. I think I may have to do a slight tail flip on that balloon when I prep the page for the graphic novel printing. Thanks for pointing out that solution!